An Abby Favorite (List Making)

Things I will Miss

This is not a serious list. I refuse to make a serious list of things I will miss. But these are things I will miss (well some of them are).

Marshrutkas. They are essentially the greatest thing ever. I think I might take a picture of my favorite #91. However, this will be an undercover picture taking operation. As in I will go make Susanna stand somewhere so that she is located by some sort of famous thing (достопримечательность) and by a marshrutka. And then the people will think I am taking a picture of the girl by the statue but I am actually taking a picture of the marshrutka which is parked on the street next to the girl and the statue. Yes. Brilliant idea. I know.

Russian MTV. At some point, you would think I would recover from my MTV deprived childhood and stop being obsessed with MTV. However that point has never come. I really like Russian MTV. Mainly the music videos. Except not the Britney Spears music video. Or the пятьдесть центов (Fi’ty) and J.T. music video (Ayo Technology). Both of those videos are alarming. Anyways I will miss Russian MTV. Half of the songs are in English anyways. Either because they are actually American or British performers. Or because they are Russian stars trying to make the jump to western celebrity status. Oh Dima!

Related to MTV. My American readers. Is there a song called Destination Unknown that you have ever heard? Because they play that song all the time on Russian MTV. It is in English. It is a very alarming song. And a more alarming music video in which all the women march about in slutty green marching band outfits.

I will miss the fact that the Russian language comes alive in Russia. Oh man. So lame and cliché and like, DUH. But I don’t know. I remember during summer school, how artificial it seemed to force myself not to read in English. I never thought about the fact that in Russia there’s hundreds/thousands/lots of bookstores full of books which are all in Russian. There’s no artificiality in functioning (trying to function) in Russian. They even have crappy tabloid magazines in the kiosks about all the latest Russian celebrity gossip.

I will miss Алла Пугачёва when I return to the U.S. She is so awesome.

Related to #4. I have pretty much been functioning under the language pledge for like the past 7 months. Which means my Russian is better (I hope) and my English is bad. The only English language I encounter is my grammer-less blogging and e-mail writing. And sometimes spoken English with my Russian friends who are worse at English than I am at Russian. Like where verb conjugation doesn’t exist. I’m pretty sure I will retain my speaking and reading abilities quickly, but writing papers will be hard. Also during the magic (English) weekend of summer school, even though we were speaking English, I would always just automatically say что? instead of What?. I hope that happens again when I return to the English speaking world. Or I will say чего. I don’t know why I like it so much when people say чего instead of что. Like why is there the need to decline the word into the genitive case. Seriously. It makes me so happy when people say чего!

Today Margarita got a Christmas card from the parents of a student she hosted a long time ago. Enclosed was a picture of the girl, Erin and her husband at their wedding. They were standing next to a Rolls Royce at a castle in England. But that’s not important. It just seems comical how far away that is from the dirty streets of Yaroslavl. (I will miss the dirty streets). So I was enlisted to translate the card to Margarita from English to Russian. So I did that. I felt accomplished. Then Margarita’s friend came over and Margarita shows her the card and picture. And explains that Erin вышла. Which makes sense but there’s a second part of the phrase (замуж= wife) which is apparently optional. It was funny. I can’t explain it. Then the friend looks at photo: «она вышла за НЕГРО?» As in, she married A BLACK PERSON. Also are we allowed to say “negro” in America. It’s only the other n-word that is bad right? But I feel like you’re not really allowed to say “negro” either. So that was funny.

I will miss my fierce independence. I am very proud of my ability to turn what was initially loneliness into so called “fierce independence.” At some point, one of the girls on the basketball team asked if I had come here alone. And I said, “No, there are 7 other American students with me.” And then she asked if I knew any of them before I came. And I said “No.” And then I tried to explain that I had friends who were studying in Irkutsk. Which is true. Susanna and Eddie and Natalie and Ivan are all in Irkutsk. Irkutsk is Russia so that is sort of reassuring. At the same time, Irkutsk is 5 time zones from Yaroslavl. Like, they are far away. 5 time zones is huge. That’s like practically the span of the whole U.S (I think N.Y. to Hawaii is 6 time zones?). And then I realized I was actually pretty far away from people. So yes. I’m glad I turned that potential bad thing, into something that gave me a lot of courage to figure out simple things about Russia (buying hockey tickets, train tickets, hotel reservations) and at the same time figure out lots of things about myself and what I’m supposed to do with my life and what I’m supposed to believe and …

Comment about dubbing. If you’re going to dub the damn film/television show, just completely cut out the first language and replace it with Russian. I hate it when there is English still audible in the background. It’s so confusing to try to make myself listen to the Russian when I can almost hear what they are saying in English. So yes that’s annoying. Also I got over the fact that I used to be annoyed when the mouths didn’t match up with what the people were saying. Probably this is a totally American thing. Like are English speaking countries, the only places where rarely are there shows/ads dubbed in from another language (i.e. it’s all originally produced in English). Actually I don’t know. I know lots of American things are dubbed into Russian. There is also a fair amount of French and German stuff. A while ago there even appeared some television ad for a car dubbed from either Japanese or Chinese. Also there is this new yogurt product called “Beauty.” The whole television ad and product is completely Russian except it’s called “Beauty.” Are more people actually going to buy the product because it’s an English named product? I would buy a yogurt called Красота. In fact, I would buy a yogurt called Красота before I would buy one called “Beauty.” It’s also said in this male, but breathy pronunciation of “Beauty.”

Why do they pick the worst possible American programs to dub into Russian. The more I type “dub,” the stranger a word it seems to me. That’s totally a Russian construction that I subconsciously translated into English! (мне кажется). Anyways, who decided My Sweet Sixteen needed to be broadcast to a Russian audience? Tonight on MTV there was some sort of dating show where the girl was having dinner with her two suitors and the two men got into some heated argument. And you can hear them in both quiet English and loud Russian. Ты меня не знаешь! Что ты сказал! (You don’t know me! What did you say!) And then the men start throwing their drinks at each other. And the girl just sits there in the middle of the chaos. And the camera men start restraining the men from attacking each other as they continue to yell at each other in amazingly translated Russian. It was so brilliant. I will miss that.

Lokomotiv. Oh man. Loko is so awesome. I don’t think I would ever get tired of it. The woman at the ticket office giving her exasperated sigh when I approach the window. Every time she makes sure I still want only one ticket. (Hopefully next week, I will be able to pleasantly surprise her and buy tickets for both Susanna and I). The thrill of the overcrowded marshrutka and the traffic jams getting to the arena. The mass of smoking and drinking hooligans outside the arena. The Russian national anthem (Surreal. Every single time). The hockey. The cheers. And taunting of the officials. I wish I could figure out the actual words they say. Goals. Power plays. Penalty shots. Oh man. It’s so BRILLIANT. I wonder if they would give me a work visa to come back to Russia and drive the zamboni at Arena? And hang out with the 50 yr. old Russian men who drive the zamboni’s. Also I could possibly become one of the cheerleader girls. Although that is on the bottom of the list of possible ways to return to Russia. Also I could become the mascot. He just skates around in a huge costume being a loon. I feel fully qualified for such employment.

I wonder if I have to change how I dress when I come back to Midd. I wonder if when I return to the U.S., I will still want to wear the heeled boots and the puffy coat with fake fur hood thing. At some point (like 4 months ago), I would have considered the clothes I wear now, completely ridiculous. Not all the clothes. Jeans are always practical. But the bright pink sweater. Yes. I now own a bright pink sweater. It is even a turtle-neck. Mainly I was forced into impulse purchasing of said pink sweater because the woman in the рынок/рынке shoved it at me and demanded I try it on and then began loudly saying красовица! (pretty/beautiful girl?) and so I just bought it. But it is actually very warm and comfy. So there needs to be some decision made about the bright pink sweater and its wear-a-bility in the U.S.

I can’t believe it’s almost over. Not really. I still have almost 6 weeks left in Russia. But it will more of a tourist and less of a person living in Russia. I remember when I was leaving the U.S. and I kept reassuring myself that “It’ll only be 4 months and you never have to go back to Russia after that. Just get it over with.” Wow. How much has changed. And I’m glad that I like being here so much and that hopefully I’ll be back in the very near immediate future.

Also I’m trying to formulate some sort of adequate but short answer to the question which is bound to occur like 8 billion times. “How was Russia?” Do I say it/she changed my life? Did it/she actually change my life? (The reason for the it/she construction is that I couldn’t allow myself to call Russia just an “it” and she is the “motherland,” so yes…that reminds me of the e-mail list that circulated called something like “Flying to the Motherland.” That seems like 8 billion years ago when we were buying our plane tickets.) So I don’t know what to say to people. And so I’ll end up saying some lame answer like “It was really cool and I can’t explain it.” That’s true though. I can neither explain Russia nor the impact she had on my life. So it’s not really a cop-out (real word? correct context?) answer. It’s the truth. Are all cultures and countries so different from each other? How hard is it for Americans to understand life in England (same language, similar quality of life)? What about other European countries with a different language? Italy or Spain? What about India or Egypt? Are all of these places equally difficult to explain to someone who has never been there? Is Russia really that hard to explain or am I just searching for some deep level of complexity because I read too much into the country? Does the русская душа (Russian soul/heart/hard to explain concept) really exist? We used to mock it all the time. But now I don’t know. Do I just think that it exists because I want it to exist?

And so I don’t know if Russia is any less explainable than any other country. How do you go about explaining an entire country, culture, language, life? It has to deal with my problems with explaining America to Vacilica. America to her is this complete utopia and she would sacrifice a lot to be able to move to the U.S. She tells me that the streets are clean and that everyone has big houses. The big house comment is drawn from her watching Home Alone. Andrei thinks I am a farmer due to the location of Montana on the U.S. map. I don’t blame him. Pretty much the entire U.S. population thinks everyone in Montana is a farmer. Unless they think the state was sold to Canada. Or confiscated as some sort of nuclear testing zone. (Note: farmer comment, sale to Canada, and nuclear testing zone are all real things I have heard said by other U.S. citizens about Montana.) How America is represented in Russia: President Bush, President Clinton and Lewinsky, Hillary, Paris Hilton, Britney, McDonalds, Big houses, excessive richness, Hollywood, New York, September 11, Iraq, Schwarzeneggar. There’s probably more, but I can’t think of them. Once when I went to play hockey, this girl after the game told me that it probably wasn’t weird that I played hockey at home, because everyone in the U.S. plays hockey. I stared at her. I don’t think that the U.S. as a hockey playing oasis is a wide spread belief in Russia (she may be the only one who thinks that). And for good reason. No one plays hockey in the U.S.

Those earlier mentioned beliefs of America are clearly ridiculous. At the same time, I can’t explain America to Russians. How do you explain an entire country, culture, language, people? You can’t. But I feel that maybe there’s a more cohesive binding together of Russian people than any sort of community in the U.S. Our grammar teacher always talks about the коллектив (collective) as in the sense of community and togetherness that existed longer before the Soviet Union but was only strengthened during the U.S.S.R.

This list has veered far off topic from things I will miss about Russia and my favorite Russian MTV videos. But perhaps these are good closing thoughts as I prepare for initial departure from Yaroslavl. Initial departure in that I’m coming back a week later for 3 days with Susanna. But I’m telling my friends in Yaroslavl that I’m leaving for good on the 17th because it seems simpler and more clear cut and Susanna probably doesn’t want to spend her whole time in Yaroslavl at Vacilica’s flat drinking tea.

Why is the United in USA and the United in UN two different words in Russian? USA United is Cоедённые (which I remember on our Russian final last winter we were supposed to know what CША stood for. And Susanna and I were disgusted by K Moss’s expectation that we know what США actually stands for. I mean, we knew штаты (states) and америки (America) Just not “united”. And the UN United is Объединённых. Also the UN in Russian is the “ООН.” Which is pretty awesome.